On the day of deep sadness I drove to work, but couldn't actually enter the building. I just sat there for half an hour and then left. The next few hours went by as I drove around aimlessly. At one point doing 20 laps around the roundabout having - thoroughly enjoying it and having a laugh.
As I got home just doing nothing and being with myself started to make me feel better. Didn't go to work the next day either, even though the situation had improved considerable. Another day of doing absolutely nothing was exactly what I needed.
I concluded that the whole ordeal was caused by me not having any time for myself. Usually the weekends have been filled with either managing the students or doing something else, never just hanging out by myself. Then again, it's not like I want to be by myself every weekend.
I've decided I must go back to the schedule I know has worked better before - a 3 or 4 day workweek. Hehe, I'm a long way away from the 4-hour workweek unfortunately. But got to make the best of what's available.
Today I'm going to work. Having all this time to think made me realise that something has changed - I don't feel like working again. That wasn't said in a positive note. When joining the team I had expected lasting only a few months and now it's been 6 so that's awesome. But this is the breaking point - I need to find a solution, because I do enjoy this company, the people and the project.
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