Back from the blast
Barbados was a bit of a touristy trip - took the normal tours and trips. However since I had a local friend there I also got to experience local people and places tours don't go. Like caves of the east coast and hearts of families. It was great being on beaches, check out some Estonian vlogs here.
Costa Rica is expensive, but for a good reason - loads of Americans have gotten a home in this paradise. I stayed at a wonderful Ayahuasca retreat with volunteers which had turned into a natural community, like moss on a rock.
From my trip I learned to be more positive. Not just for positivity sake, but actually to turn my reality around. It involves being more hopeful about the future, not jumping to conclusions, allowing myself to understand my emotional situation without judgement and speaking to people more softly. There were some awesome people there. Both smart intelligence wise, but also emotionally. So there was a lot to learn. Also found a book called Nonviolent Communication and a youtube channel for Teal Swan, which really helped. Also just hanging around eating fruit and playing guitar (with pro's!) under the hot sun was super relaxing.
So coming back I was totally refreshed and ready to go. It took a few days to get the connection back with my girlfriend and the first few days at work were reminders of a horrible past life. But that was just shock. I took what I learned and now feel a lot more free and happy. I'm not going to pretend my life has turned around completely, I still need to be careful about how I approach life, but the vacation sure was a huge success in terms of what I needed.
Now I'm looking for my own apartment - wish me luck! :)