Plan F
When I bought the ticket to see my friend in Barbados like 6 months ago it was more like plan F in case nothing else works out. An escape route. But now, surprisingly, I've come to quite enjoy my job. I still get tired of it sometimes and need to take breaks longer than the weekend, but overall I can't imagine a better place for my unstable ass.
I've been letting the team know I'm not so much a programmer as I am a problem solver around the whole company. The CTO recognized this being service design and as I looked into what that meant I got really exited. A sense of excitement that I haven't felt in a long time. Is this really what I've been wanting to do for all these years? Maybe, maybe not. What's for sure is it's the right direction. This is something I'd love to proceed with.
My role in the team however hasn't changed much in the 6 months, because they needed me as a programmer the most. This is where the month long vacation comes in handy. It'll break the dependence and upon return I can start from a clean slate. Perhaps this is what would happen eventually anyway, but I'm sure I need a vacation. Haven't really rested in years. Always either startupping or chasing the next paycheck to clear my loans.
So things are looking up. If you've been reading my blog you'll know my mental condition isn't exactly easy. I'm planning to go to a healing retreat during this trip. I'll surely get some insight.
Hey, thanks for reading :)