This week my thorough routine of exercise, meditation, writing and playing guitar isn't helping anymore. My awesome job seems like something to stay away from. My own projects that I'm usually exited about just seems like failure staring at my face.

Today I'm sad and lonely. I feel like nothing I do succeeds. I'd love to just roll up a spliff and haze away.

Is it the fact that I've now skipped a few martial arts classes? Is it that last week there was a lot of emotion in the office? Maybe it's the new game I found and actually enjoy playing? Maybe it's just that the cycle of depression has made another round.

I don't know what's going on, but I do know that every setback feels like a brick wall. I have no motivation to do anything at this point. It's been quite a long time since I last felt this low. I should really take a day off, "but think of the money, man" and I'd actually really like to help the team out right now.. I'm taking a vacation an a month anyway.

Called mom just now, made me feel better. Not sure what to do now..

To be continued..